Sunday, 26 October 2008
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It has now been 8 months since I left the Mennonite church...at the time, I didn't feel right about discussing why, but I think enough time has passed that I can talk about it a little more freely. What will be following will be a 3-part series of posts, detailing the timeline of events leading up to it, the conclusions I came to regarding my Mennonite heritage, and candid advice to young Mennos who are thinking about leaving, as well as to older folks who are trying their best to be reasonable and sensible with young people even if they don't always see eye to eye with them.
Why I left the Mennonite Church, Part 1.
My story started when I was about 14, and the first “chink in the armor,” if you will, was music. I had grown up hearing the standard thing about the “worldly” music genres (rock, country, rap, etc.) with their “thunderous beat and hellish lyrics” (a direct quote from a CLP paper I read once). At 14, I discovered country music. And I discovered that the whole “thunderous beat and hellish lyrics” that all “worldly” music supposedly consisted of was a bunch of crap. It was out there, but was a small minority. My journey away from the MC didn't start then...at 14, you tend to see rules like this as coming more from your parent's than the church. But the seed had been planted. I had discovered for the first time that not everything that had been preached to me over the pulpit was true.
At 16, I was baptized. Which, among other things meant that I was now officially a member of the Brownsville Mennonite Church.At 17, not to long before we went to Kenya, I was listening to a sermon being preached on the covering, in which the preacher said, quote, “There are women out there who don't believe that any sort of covering is necessary, and they will find out differently on Judgment Day.” My first thought was of my aunt Rebecca, who grew up a Menno but left in her 20's. She doesn't wear a covering, and yet there is no way I could say that she's not a Christian.
I went to 1Cor 11 to try to reconcile my beliefs with my experiences, between the doctrine of the MC, which says that Christian women should have something on their head, and all the Christian women I know who don't wear one. (I'll have more on that in the next post.)
The “slippery slope” idea comes into play here, because questioning the doctrine of the covering led me to question most of the other teachings unique to the Mennonite church, and then some. As I analyzed, I almost always found that the doctrines/practices/teachings of the MC either weren't necessary, or else could be found in a lot of other churches/denominations besides the Mennonites.
(Bear in mind, just because a practice isn't necessary doesn't mean that it is bad or that there's something inherently wrong with it. Example: the holy kiss. Mennonites, older ones at least, often greet each other with a kiss on the cheek as per Romans 16:16. While there isn't anything wrong with it, it's also not necessary, and whether or not a church practiced the holy kiss would not be a factor at all in whether or not I attended there.)
(Another example: say a church is preaching that Christ's Resurrection never happened. That's a dealbreaker. But most of Christendom preaches that Christ's Resurrection happened and is important, so most churches will qualify in that regard, Mennonite or not.)
Anyhow, this analyzing phase lasted roughly 2 years, and by the time I was 19 I knew my future probably did not lie in the Mennonite church. That being said, at 19 I didn't feel right about leaving the MC right then. I decided to lay a fleece: I would leave the Mennonite church once I could affordably leave home, and let God work things out when it was time for me to leave.
A lot of that was practical. Leaving the MC can put a strain on relationships with your family and friends if done incorrectly, and I figured it would be easier for all involved if I waited to leave until I had left the house. The other side is more spiritual: I felt that God wanted me to stay in the MC for a little while, like there was something He wanted me there to accomplish before I left. Doing it this way meant God could arrange it so that I would be able to move out after I had accomplished whatever He had in mind.
There was an incident that I was involved in about a month before I ended up moving out, and as near as I can tell God wanted me to stay in the MC for that purpose. I don't mean to be vague, but I don't know who all reads this blog, and describing it in detail has the potential to hurt some people.
Anyhow, in October of last year I had just started attending Oregon State University, and was driving about 30 miles each way every day. A guy I used to work for asked me if I would be interested in house-sitting for him in Corvallis, at his house about 3 miles from campus. And that was that. I moved to Corvallis within the next week, and in February 2008 I officially withdrew my membership from the Brownsville MC and was no longer a Mennonite.
Coming up...the conclusions I came to regarding my Mennonite heritage.
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Comments (15)
Interesting stuff.
ditto
This post makes me sad, not because I think your going to hell or anything if you aren't a Mennonite. I just think it's sad when anybody drops principles that they were brought up being taught. I also think it's sad that a preacher would say that not wearing a covering would make someone not a Christian. In my church growing up I would have never got that idea. Rather that wearing the covering or following any of God's principles to the best of my ability would lead to blessings for me, and dismissing any part of the Bible would mean missing out on a blessing, and was a dangerous place to go. For me wearing the covering is just that, a blessing. A reminder and symbol of submission the place where my heart was meant to be. A reminder of who I am in Christ a lady, a princess, not trying to be anything or anyone else... It's only been in the last 100 years that all women, even those who were not mennonite ceased wearing some kind of a covering on our heads. Honestly, I think we are seeing the effects of it on our culture. Or maybe it's a reflection of our culture. Men and women switching roles in the home. Divorce is rampent along with feminism. I know this wasn't the whole point of your post, but this is something personally I have done so much research on, and would encourage you to research things thoroughly before laying down any principles taught by the Scriptures. Maybe you have, why aren't we seeing the same things.
joy, is it also sad when a muslim drops the principles they were taught as a child? or a child who grew up in an athiestic home? is there any room for personal examination or should we all swallow everything we're fed simply because it was fed by those we respect?
Thanks, Matt, for this. It will make interesting and informative reading for any of us who have grappled with the same decision, regardless of our ultimate choice. I'm looking forward to reading the rest.
excellent point made by balaams_donkey_eh. i think the people who've taught us all our religious principles, or many times simply the applications of those principles, mean well. in some cases, though, i think it was just drilled into their heads, so they in turn feel the need to drill it into ours. because what if we don't see things the same way they do? what if they're wrong? and it maybe scares them. who knows?? good post, matt. i'd like to hear the rest.
Matt--Please note that my desire is to write the following comments in love and humility. I want to comment on some of the thing you wrote.
"....hearing the standard thing about the “worldly” music genres (rock, country, rap, etc.) with their “thunderous beat and hellish lyrics” (a direct quote from a CLP paper I read once)....." My first thought was, this is a subject that definitely does get over-preached in the Menn. Church, in my opinion. However, I find no good Biblical reason to defend rock music. Tell me ONE GOOD reason rock music would be RIGHT to listen to. And you're going to get all offended because some guy from CLP gets a little overzelous with his point? I think "hey, that's HIS own opinion!" Why do we have to take the most extreme quotes and act like the are the motto for ALL Mennonites? Trust me, not ALL Mennonites are this way.
"...There are women out there who don't believe that any sort of covering is necessary, and they will find out differently on Judgment Day.” Same thing for this...just because one preacher is a bit off doesn't mean that all Mennonites think this way. You can't take one or two extreme examples and say, "this is what is wrong with ALL Mennonites!"
In one of your arguements you said that you questioned teachings that were "unique to the Mennonite church", but then go on to say that many of these teaching can be "found in a lot of other churches/denominations besides the Mennonites." Isn't that a bit of a contradiction there?
One teaching that you didn't mention, and quite often gets overlooked in many churches is the issue of divorce and remarriage. There are a few out there who take a stand on this, but from what I can tell, most of them do not take a strong stand against it. Most churches today are saying that no, divorce is not a good thing and God does not like it, but if people do get divorced, God graciously forgives and it is then okay to be remarried to someone else. Since when does God forgive people and then turn around and say, "but you may keep living in sin if you wish!"? I know I know, I'm hitting a hot Menno topic, but if you think it's merely a Menno high horse, check it out, it's pretty plain in the Bible (if you don't try to explain it away).
Okay, so now I'm probably unpopular, and everybody thinks I am sounding the Mennonite trumpet. That's not true. I too get pretty frustrated at Mennos sometimes, and I do think there are other good Christain groups out there. Yes, there are some inconsitencies with the Menno's, but I can almost guarentee you, if you haven't found some yet in the church you are going to now, you will at some point. They might be strong in some areas Mennos are weak in, but then they might be weak in areas Mennos are strong in. There is no "perfect" church, as I'm sure you already know.
The main thing is, let's all try to stay as close to God as possible, and to make sure we don't let our own selfish desires cloud out what God's Word really says. I'm not saying you are this way, it's just a concern I have for ALL of us!
I look forward to reading the next part. My experience is similar in some ways. Sometimes the best decision is not the "default" one or the most convenient. Don't let the haters get you (or make you bitter!).
howardwaglerdotcom-- I hope your "haters" comment is not aimed at me! Is anyone that has a different opinion labled a "hater"??? I certainly do not hate Matt, I've known him for many years; I was just expressing my opinion.
Just a bit of followup before I post the next part...
I did post some slightly extreme examples in regards to music and the covering, I realize. Those were things that got me thinking...in the covering example, what that preacher said didn't offend me, but it got me to look at 1Cor 11 for myself to try to reconcile things. Same for the "thunderous beat" quote. It was something that got me thinking, nothing more.
And yes, that one thing davidrmiller mentioned as a bit of a contradiction...I didn't phrase it very well, sorry. That word "unique" shouldn't have been in there...it was in the previous draft and I forgot to delete it when I rewrote that part. But hopefully you all understood what I meant
In regards to other doctrinal issues and what it's like trying to find another church, those are coming up in the next two posts
@davidrmiller - Your fine, I meant haters as slang for people who disapprove, not as someone who literally hates.
The concept of secular music being bad has never made much sense to me. Some people are to embedded in th black and white of ultimatum based theology to understand that there's a real difference between something that is secular and something that is evil.
Head coverings are another thing I really don't get. I know what Corinthians says, that isn't what I mean. The head coverings worn today are night and day different then the ones worn even 500 years ago. If a women walked around back then with the tiny scrap of cloth that passes for a modern head covering she would be regarded as back sliding indeed!
This is why I usually refrain from these debates on a public level. A person's faith is a matter between them and God, if they are at peace with it who are we to judge?
Woooah, comparing dropping the Muslim or Atheistic faith, to leaving the "Biblical" issues taught from little up (as a Mennonite, are you saying that the Muslim or Atheistic faith if similar to the Mennonite faith,) is totally different. Also when did I ever say that these issues should not be examined and researched. I also did a lot of research on these areas looking back in the Greek and Hebrew meanings of 1 Cor 11. Looking back into early church history and art work. (some of the coverings of the early church women were really not very different from the hanging veil of today, which is by the way what I prefer.) I don't believe these things because I have been taught them all my life. Nor would I recommend following Biblical principles blindly, but rather I encourage you to look into it for yourself, and I was only admitting my confusion at coming out at different places. I never, never meant to be saying this hatefully or judgementally and I am sorry if anyone took it that way. Unfortunately, when we disagree on issues we tend to get angry and make it so personal rather then really talking about the issues. Perhaps that is why there are some things that never get discussed and reevaluated as they should. I want you all to know I have utmost respect and love for Matt and the rest of you as well. I am sorry if I came accross differently. Furthermore, I have many, many dear friends and sisters and brothers in Christ who are not Mennonite. I love them dearly even though I disagree with them. So can we discuss these things calmly and rationally without the name calling?
Hey I don't know you and I hardly ever am on this anymore, but I ran across this on Facebook. I just have to tell you that I respect and admire you so much for standing up for what YOU believe and what God is telling YOU and not other mennonites. I was mennonite and left at 16 So I know all about it.
Stand strong and Don't question what God is telling you just because everybody else is telling you different things.
God wants to offer you a life of FREEDOM!! No it doesn't mean you drop what He asks of You In the Bible, doesn't mean you start condoning things...but it does mean, He doesn't want you in bondage. He doesn't want you to be stuck in religion that gets you no where. We are called to freedom!