Friday, 15 February 2008
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Okay, so, some breaking news...in case you haven't already heard, I am no longer a Mennonite.
You may recall about a year ago, I had written something that Mom really didn't want me to post on here...and in retrospect, she called it correctly. It shouldn't be hard to connect the dots. What I wrote back then was essentially saying that this was what I wanted to do, and the reasons why. And while I do think it would be cool to post it here, I don't want to be unnecessarily contentious.
A funny thing has happened. Now that I'm gone, I don't think about those church issues in quite the same way. It's not that my opinions on those issues have changed, it's that those issues don't affect me anymore. There were things that drove me nuts, but now that I'm gone, they don't bother me anymore, if that makes sense.
A couple things I would like to say here.
First, a big thank you to all the Mennonites who have prayed for me, encouraged me, cooked for me, befriended me, (technically) dated me, and watched me grow up over the years. I love you all. While I am no longer a Menno, I can't forget my roots.
Second, I left the Mennonite denomination, not my Christian faith. Not saying that every Mennonite is going to make that assumption, but I know at least a few will. I don't know whether or not anyone who did will actually read this, but it's worth mentioning.
As I wrote this, I started remembering how I've hinted in the past that I was moving this way...you can find posts here, here, and here that hint that way. It's actually been over four years since I started down this path, now that I think about it. I began shortly before my family left for Kenya in 2003.
I can't think of a good way to end this. I could give a complete list of reasons why I left. But it's like, what's the point? Either you'll agree w/ the decision or you won't.
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Comments (19)
Character is what a man is willing to do when it is not popular.
on a less serious note I have another life change for you, your font color, I cannot read powder blue against the white part of the trail blazer logo...
just want you to know, i support your decision. and i wish you the best.
i also wish you the best, and way to go for saying it like it is. i'm curious about your reasons (maybe you could send them to me in message?? lol) and i REALLY want to know who you "technically" dated!! :)
one denomination is not for everyone and its good if we can understand that. one faith, not all one denomination.
lol that's a good one :)
Your choice...I wish you the best. Life outside the fence isn't all the green.
One burden that I really have for people who leave our denomination is that they do it for the right reasons. No, Mennonites are not THE way to Heaven. But why are we making the switch? Is it because we truly feel it will help us lead more Biblical and Godly lives? If so, great! We should follow God with all our hearts! Or is it simply that we hate all the "rules", traditions, and inconsistencies? So many people know what they DON'T believe, but how many people know what they DO believe?
Leaving does not neccesarily mean a person will lose out on his faith altogether. However, I honestly wonder how happy and peaceful some of my friends who left actually are. Do they feel closer to God since they left? Are they walking in more victory instead of "legalism"? I hope so. Our Christian life should not be so much about "what's wrong with this?" as it should be, "what will help me walk closer to God?"
If someone truly feels he can do that better in another church setting, fine. But if his spiritual life begins waning, i.e., less church attendance, a feeling of distance from God, watch out!
I pray you will draw closer to Christ! So much for my preaching....
Matt - you can take the kid out of the Mennonites, but you can never quite take the Mennonite out of the kid. *grin* Speaking as a at some times conflicted Mennonite, I'm glad that you had the courage to match your actions with where you are. Keep moving: seeking truth is moving toward God, and that's what you're doing.
Matt,
I'm sorry to hear about your choice. I've had many friends make the same choice over the years, and each time it happens it hurts just a little.
I write as one who has pursued a path in life very similar to that which you have chosen. I grew up in a family very similar to yours. I've had many similar experiences. I've done the SMBI thing. I've gone off to university and spent lots of time outside of the typical Mennonite circles.
For me, leaving the Mennonite church would be the easy thing. I could very easily step into the social circle I have outside of the Mennonite circles, and become one of them in how I live my life. Instead I choose to be the guy at social functions who doesn't drink, the guy who doesn't wear a tie to events when everyone else does, the guy who doesn't sleep around like everyone else does (most of whom are "Christians"). It would be much easier for me to just abandon all of that and make a new life in a manner compatible with the local Christian standards.
I don't believe that being a Mennonite is the only way to get into heaven, nor do I believe that being a Mennonite will get you into heaven. However, I have not found another denomination that has a blend of grace/holy living that I am comfortable with, and that is why I stay. Being a Christian is what manners, and I trust that you will continue to pursue a relationship with and committment to Christ. That is what is important.
I am disappointed that you did not post your reasons for leaving. Is it because you are ashamed of them? Are you afraid that you will hurt people by sharing them? Is it because you are not sure they hold water intellectually? I'd enjoy hearing from you regarding what these reasons are. My email is hanscb@yahoo.com Hans Burkholder
I was setting in church this morning and listening to possibly the best teaching I have ever heard on 1 COR 10: 23 through the end of the chapter. As I was listening I was thinking about this change you have made Matt, and the comments that have been written already. One quote stood out to me above all the others this morning and I share it with you and your readers because I think it is applicable:
“One of the biggest challenges facing the Body of Christ today is being willing to trust the Spirit of God working in the lives of others"
Dale Ebel, Sr. Pastor RHCC
The problem, as I see it, comes when others try to determine how God should be working in your life…and then if your decision doesn’t line up with that determination… then they feel that they have to step in and make you aware that you may have strayed… And that, my friend, is arrogance, plain and simple.
and judgment
People often see leaving a Conservative Church for a more contemporary life as something that is driven by a need to be unburdened. What the person who makes this move knows, that the people who see him leave do not, is that whatever burden is lifted is replaced by the stigma he acquires by being "the person who left the church". Often times they, at least in part, are segregated from the community they've known their entire life. I wouldn't consider that unburdened in the least.
That is not to say the person should not leave if they feel drawn away, it is but a reminder to those around that person to be happy for them and not throw stones at them as they walk through the open door. In the end they trade one burden for another, and if done for the right reasons it is quite the testament to one's faith to trade a known burden for one less certain.
very nicely put. i could not have said it better myself
we must be communicating well lol ;)
there are quite a few burdens the leaver must put up with, the main ones being criticism and judgment. or excess advice. be prepared, Matt!! lol now you have been warned.....
Oh dear I mean brakes, not breaks :)
I hesitate to comment, because I don't want to offend, or come across like I have all the answers cause I don't. I have many friends who are not Mennonites and yet I love them and I know they are followers of Jesus. I do have to admit I am saddened by this news. I first of all want you to know that I'm not wanting to judge or criticise you at all. The reason I am Mennonite is because I believe the Mennonite church, as we are, to be the most theologically, Biblically sound in it's core beliefs. If I didn't believe this I too would leave in a heartbeat. I sometimes cringe though at saying my beliefs are "Mennonite" because I dislike that label. I believe what I believe because I am a Christian a follower of Christ and His word not because I am a Mennonite. I am saddened because those beliefs are precious to me and I want them to be precious to others as well. But I questioned and searched the scripture, myself to have arrived at my own beliefs today. My prayer is that you will grow ever nearer to our Saviour no matter what lies ahead for you. Keep seeking Him and the Truth of his word.
Beth, I am sorry you felt judged, etc, unfortunate that, that seems to happen when someone leaves the church, on both sides. We really should be encouraging,praying, and loving each other since ultimately, we are on the same side. Hope you know that you are loved!
As I read the post and then the comments, a bunch of thoughts flew through my mind. Let me list some of them.
1. I think Matt was right not to post the reasons because that is something that that might have some value for him to share person to person, but posted on Xanga could cause any of a number of different people ranging from parents to friends, to casual acquaintances to innocent bystanders to have to deal with feedback and fallout that is unnecessary, especially when you consider what some of the commenters said about the things they have felt as they have left.
2. The key, the primary key in the process of a person growing up and following God is to follow God as he leads. Unfortunately us humans cannot always know the truth behind such decisions and tend to make personal judgments that may or may not be right. But again the key is to follow where God leads.
3. Some who leave a church do so at the leading of God. Some do not. Many of us have known ones who have left of their own leading and thus we find it easy to be skeptical. At the time of leaving it is really hard to discern the motivation. Usually as time goes it is easier to see whether or not it was the leading of God. But the realizaton that the potential is there for leaving one church to lead to a path of leaving God is sometimes hard to deal with. I am not saying that a person should never leave a church. All I am trying to say is that it happens sometimes for the right reasons and sometimes for the wrong reasons which makes it hard to understand at times what the response should be.
4. To the question of why stay, or why leave. The answer is the same. The only right answer is God. If God has called you to a church, that is the church for you until God calls you to another church. We should never shop for a church like we shop for cars or clothes and decide to stay or leave a church merely because of how we feel like the church fits us.
5. Several years ago I returned to visit a conservative (nonMennonite) church group I had left many years before. I was amazed by some of the reactions I got. It was really more welcoming than I had expected even though my theology now is somewhat different from theirs. As I evaluated it afterwards I came to the conclusion that the good response was due to the fact that I did not go back in confrontation either in how I dressed or how I talked. I have seen so many who complain about how their former church treats them who make no attempt to soften things, but seem to be a little in your face both in how they talk and how they come across to the church they left. I have also seen some who have left, but have done so in a humble way and an unobtrusive way which makes it so much easier for them to related to the church they have left
6. When we leave another group we tend to complain about how they've treated us but we don't stop to think about how they feel we've treated them. It's very important that when a person leaves our church that we treat them in a way that would make it easy for them to come back. But it also is important that when we leave we treat the former church in a way that would also be easy for us to come back.
I accept without reservation that you are no longer a Menno. My question is, "What are you now?" Louise
May God bless you as you follow Him with all your heart and seek daily to know Him better. I know that you accept the fact that you have a wonderful Mennonite heritage. The all-important thing is that you are a true child of God, trusting in the Lord Jesus Christ alone for salvation, and that you walk so close to Him that people around you will see Him in you.
Peace!
David, Psalm 23, The Shepherd Psalm