Quite frankly, I understand atheists/agnostics better than I used to. Don't get a heart attack, I'm just saying.
I can pray and talk to God until I'm blue in the face. And usually, I don't get anything in response. I've never seen God. I've never heard God speak audibly. And as far as I know, no one I know ever has either. What people usually talk about getting in response is something "in a still small voice." How nice. And if I don't really know what to look for, which I don't, then there is no "still small voice." I simply miss it, or else it doesn't exist.
And if I believed in evolution to begin with, I think I would have written off the concept of God as being a bunch of crap a long time ago.
I believe God exists, because I don't believe that the universe could come to its present state without some outside help, if you know what I mean. I have no problem with God as a concept, as a sort of universal intelligence.
But what does it really mean to have a relationship with Him? I pray, read the Bible. I try to do it every day, but don't always succeed. A relationship with God seems incredibly impersonal. Read the Bible, and follow the commands given in there. Talk to God, even though He already knows every detail of your life. No conversation, it's just one way. No voice. At best, a feeling that's really hard to put a finger on.
Then what? Every Christian I've ever heard talks about there being a lot more to a relationship with God, how wonderful it is, and all that jazz.
I can look like a Christian, I can act like a Christian, I can
live like a Christian. I can even BE a Christian. But either I've missed something or else it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've been a Christian for about 9 or 10 years now, and I really don't have a clue what "all that jazz" consists of.
Anybody? Describe what your relationship with God means too you, in practical terms and avoiding cliches.
It's 1:45 AM. I'm going to bed.
Comments (10)
hi there, i just randomly came across your blog. that's a really honest statement ("not all that its cracked up to be") and i guess it got my brain ticking, because i know the feeling. and i guess i dont really have an answer, because i cant say with honesty that my relationship w/ god is all that jazz either. but i have faith that the promises of the bible are reliable and true and that as i mature in my faith, my relationship with him and my appreciation and satisfaction in him will deepen. i think there's more to relating with god than what im experiencing/aware of right now, and im really glad that it's not as if "this is it." that would be pretty disappointing. something that assures me that relationshp w/ god is so much more than what im aware of now is having people around me who are concrete examples of people whose lives are actually truly saturated w/ love for god, zeal for god, and awe for god.
i love hebrews 11 and 12- its not entirely related but im just reminded of the great "cloud of witnesses" that ought to inspire and encourage us in our christian life-- that there is a lot more to look forward to.
Happy Birthday .
Because of your Mom.
Hmm. A thought provoking question. And since you told us to avoid cliches, I won't say "I don't really have an answer for that because [insert randomness]".
At this moment in my life, my relationship with God means that I have hope. I find myself too weak to do "the right things", or even to really want to do/feel "the right things". My relationship with God means that He takes my slap in His face and punishes Himself. Experientially speaking... I haven't heard any voices lately. I haven't felt all that many warm fuzzy feelings. But I haven't felt as though my relationship with God is entirely one sided. I "hear" Him in books I read, in people I listen to. I sense Him in the warmth and utter contentment of sitting around a fire at 12:30AM with strangers who have become family in the past school year. I feel Him in the hugs of friends who have stood with me through craziness, laughter, and especially tears. I know that my heart has been broken because not all is right with this world, and that points me to a place and Person where all is right.
There are times when I wonder why I haven't given the whole thing up. But I can look back at the past few months and see that something stronger than myself wouldn't let me give up. I look at my fear, my pride, and my weakness and know that practically speaking I shouldn't be at the place where I am.
I don't know if this makes sense, and I don't know if this meets your stipulation of "in practical terms", but that's where I'm at.
Marina.
I have thought about the same things that you are.. but the verse that always comes to my mind is "He that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.
Also.. when I have doubts, then I always remember back to the night I became a Christian. I had no doubts that God existed, because He took my awful guilt away in a instant and I was filled with such incredible peace.
So hang in there.:)
blessings to you Matt
-aimee
It's all about faith! and choosing to believe!
Happy belated Birthday and may all your dreams come true!!
Good questions, man. I wrote a song that said pretty much the same thing. It's something I am wrestling with (at least I hope I am and not just pushing it aside.) But what does it mean? There are answers to prayer, and little things that seem timed more than just random happenstance, but one side of me just wants to rationalize that all away... But there's something inside me that refuses to give up. I believe that God is there and He's helping me. I think that sometimes when I'm in the thick of the struggle, as I'm wondering where He is, I forget that He's inside me helping me to keep seeking Him.
I'm not sure what to think about what Auntnancy said, because I think in one sense she's right, BUT I also know from experience that to say "just believe" doesn't cut it. But there is a sense that no matter how much evidence we have in front of us, we still have to take the leap of faith and believe. We have to trust that Jesus is who He said He was. Hope this helps. Keep on the journey! Pe'de
Hey Matt! I am really impressed with this entry! I appreciate your willingness to put your questions out here.
I've been a Christian since I was a little kid. Some times it was warm and fuzzy. Sometimes cold and rocky. Sometimes I knew exactly what God was saying, sometimes I had no clue. Sometimes I felt the assuracne of his peace and other times I felt like I was lost in an amusement park house of mirrors. Dr. James Dobson wrote "Emotions,Can you Trust Them?" Recently I heard him refer to this book saying "I took 200 pages to say 'No!'" I wonder if some of the folks that gave you the "all that jazz" speel have been as honest with themselves as you seem to be. Perhaps they repeat what they've heard, hoping to somehow experiencwe it eventually
When I was your age I found it especially difficult (I'm older than your mom btw) I had all that my parents and church had taught me and had to make it MY faith. I think that a relationship with God is more than reading yor Bible and following the commands. I grew up in a church that had ALOT of commands! Jesus died to set people free from the law. No, I'm not saying we can live any way we please. I'm saying that being a Christian is more than following a set of rules. I need to get ofline now. Thanks for the thoughtful entry. I masy be back with some ideas for you later.
Rai
aka "Another Mrs."S"