Tuesday, 11 July 2006

• Currently Listening Declaration By Steven Curtis Chapman Carry You to Jesus see related

  Leonard Yoder, 23, Milbank, S.D.
  

  Leonard (Lenny) Aaron Yoder, 23, died on Sunday, July 2, at his apartment in Milbank, S.D.

  Funeral services for Yoder, formerly of Grove City, will be held at 10 a.m. on Friday, July 7, at the Paynesville Evangelical Free Church, located three and a half miles west of Paynesville. Visitation will be at the Emanuel-Patterson Funeral Home in Milbank, S.D., on Wednesday from 5-7 p.m., at the Johnson Funeral Home in Paynesville on Thursday from 5-8 p.m., and at the church on Friday one hour before services. Burial will be in the Burr Oak Cemetery.

  Leonard Aaron Yoder was born on March 20, 1983, at Litchfield, the son of Marcus and Anna (Miller) Yoder. He graduated from Riverview Christian School in Grove City.

  He moved to Milbank in 2002, where he worked for Rick and Cheri Meagher as a farm laborer.

  Leonard attended the New Life Evangelical Free Church in Watertown, S.D., and was baptized in July 2003.

  He enjoyed the outdoors, especially hunting and fishing.

  Survivors include his parents, Marcus and Anna Yoder, rural Grove City; two sisters, Annette (Jay) Stoltzfus, Lancaster, Penn., and Janet Yoder, rural Grove City; his paternal grandparents, Amos and Sara Yoder, and his maternal grandparents, David and Susana Miller, all of Grove City; and many uncles, aunts, and cousins.

  Mom, Emily, and I spent the past week in Minnesota.  I wouldn't repeat that experience for a billion dollars, but I'm glad I went.  Very healing for me.  Very.
  
  And where am I now?  In one sense it's over, I've lived through it, and it's time to get on with my life.  But it will be a long time before I can go two whole hours without thinking about him.  It was a wound, and those take time to heal.  And even after they do, the scars remain.
  
  I always kind of wondered what it was like to live through a tragedy, how I would respond to it. 
  
  It was several days before food actually looked apetizing to me again.  Monday and Tuesday especially I had to force myself to eat.
  
  It took about two days before I could wrap my mind around the concept that he was dead.  It wasn't until the viewing on Thursday that it finally became real to me.
  
  I would suddenly find myself in another part of the house and wonder how in the world I had gotten there.  I was in a daze for awhile.
  
  I went through a spell where I was angry, very angry, but I couldn't figure out who I was angry at or the exact reason I was angry.  Not at God, a suicide didn't strike me as being God's will.  Not really at Leonard, either.  It's hard to be angry at someone who was apparently hurting so badly that suicide looked like the best option.
  
  What I've learned in the past week...
  
  Time slows down when you're grieving.  Last Monday could just as well have been a month ago.
  
  There are things that you always expect to happen to "someone else."  Unfortunately, we're all "someone else" to someone else.
  
  There's a time to exhibit Christian joy in your "trials and tribulations." There is also a time to say you can't take this anymore and seek help.
  
  Being a Christian doesn't mean you won't struggle with depression. It also doesn't shield you from feeling suicidal if that depression gets bad enough.
  
  If you don't know what to say to someone who is hurting, you can at least say a prayer for them in their presence.  Knowing that people are praying for you is a tremendous boost.
  
  God can indeed make good come out of tragedy.  Even so, knowing this, even seeing it happening, doesn't make grieving easier or the pain less.
  
  When something  bad happens, ask God why it happened.  If things still don't make sense, then ask God to at least give you peace about it.  I don't have any answers.  None of us do.  None, zilch, nada.  But I do have peace.  So does the rest of the family.
  
  When the Apostle Paul wrote about "The peace of God, which passes all understanding," he knew what he was talking about. I was grieving like crazy, yes, but there was/is a peace about the whole thing as well. I don't understand it, I wouldn't have expected it, but I have it.
  
  **edit** And if you could pray for his family, I'd really appreciate it.  It was bad enough for me.  But to bury your own son, your own brother...I can hardly fathom how much it hurts.  They really need your prayers.  I could use a few myself.
  

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